House debates

Thursday, 5 December 2019

Statements by Members

Minister for Energy and Emissions Reduction

1:31 pm

Photo of Tim WattsTim Watts (Gellibrand, Australian Labor Party, Shadow Assistant Minister for Communications) Share this | | Hansard source

Last weekend, while pondering the sitting before Christmas, I tweeted about the Minister for Energy and Emissions Reduction's first speech in this place and his dispatches from the front line on the war on Christmas. The response was unexpected. It was a cautionary tale straight from Aesop's Fables that summed up the minister's career to date. You could call it The Boy Who Cried Wolf. Here's how it goes: once there was a grasslands boy who wanted to be Prime Minister. One day, for no comprehensible reason, the boy who wanted to be Prime Minister shouted, 'Wolf! Wolf! Wolf! There's a wolf trying to steal Christmas!' But when people looked, there was no wolf.

Later, the boy who wanted to be Prime Minister sang out again, 'A man from Yass! A man from Yass! A man from Yass! A man from Yass asked me to protect my grasslands from meddling environmental regulation!' But, when the people looked, there was no man from Yass. Later, the boy who wanted to be Prime Minister sang out again, 'A junketeering mayor! A junketeering mayor! A junketeering mayor spending millions of dollars on flights!' But, when the people looked, there was no junketeering mayor.

One day, the boy who wanted to be Prime Minister was lying in his grasslands when Strike Force Garrad came upon him. The boy who wanted to be Prime Minister shouted, 'A smear! A smear! A smear!' But, when the people looked, there was no smear. One day, the boy who cried wolf will tell the truth. That bit hasn't happened here yet, but if you believe in fairytales maybe one day it will.